Hooded Sweatshirt

A is for alcoholic

Hello world I'm Kuselo Mears Artistically known as ElGreatKuse; I'm an alcoholic.
I've interacted with liquor since my youngest memories and as I clocked one more than 33 years on this circle, I recollect a vast majority of my best, worst, and the life altering situations. All these things defined the character I have been viewed as.
Born in Jamaica (NYC QNS). I had access to excessive beverages since single digits and started with cap fulls, then eventually waterfalls but at the time I didn't acknowledge the effects just the exilheration I received from scavaging and collecting glassed waters.
My first true memory of indulging began in high school during my last year in Aviation. As seniors we had a group of associates that engaged in gatherings. It consisted of like minded individuals that listened to music and had immense amounts of various ales and both light and dark selections. With invitation I was allowed to partake in such affairs and practically binged drinked 40 oz (O.E), henney, zodka, gin, tequila, and various other beers during two rounds of beer bong or w.e it was called. Like a light switch I was turned up and then eventually it was lights out. Needless to say I threw up on the bus ride home and encountered a million stories of my actions and in-actions.
Life eventually hits full throttle in college with a new level of independence and being "legal" (18) I began partying weekly which literally meant drinking weekly. I had several locations to obtain liquor illegally and connections to a world of house parties that offered all imaginations. I learned my limit early it was 2.5 cups no chaser ( I never used chasers and I hate drinking sweet drinks after shots #lame). Unfortunately I never used that gauge because alcohol travels in my body ultra slow so it takes a hour longer to kick in than the normal human, which attributed to me drinking in excess trying to hasten the effects. This lead to the black out error of my relations with drinking.
On the other side of my college party life I was hired as a sales associate at sunglass Hut in Soho it was a super smooth luxury brand on the corner of spring Street and West Broadway. A former coworker of mine was a music artist and was frequently booked at clubs in Manhattan and one happened to be a zero minute walk from my job. With easy access to partying at some of the most prestigious clubs in New york and popping bottles for free in the glitz and glamour of my city, it became easy for me to strengthen my bond with my alcoholism. My intake of alcohol at this point became overwhelming so I started limiting my drinking to certain occasions. Instead of drinking at home or on the block with my friends I would only drink at parties or booked gigs. I would often rotate only drinking cranberry in clubs so I don't have idle hands or parched lips. Unfortunately this was still part of the black out phase so my limiting and partaking in drinking less didn't offset my issues. This is when I experimented with days, weeks, months off of anything associated with strong drink.
This pattern continued until I began working with Amazon I will bring this up briefly due to its relative nature and it Segways to the next level in my life, practically work/drink, party/drink, and now I drink at work because I sit behind a desk all day.
Cutscenes to yesterday (technically) I began a courrier company in 2017 alongside my business partners and acquired a fleet of vans for transport. In celebration of my new found independence and financial success at such a young and defining age I began to upgrade my drinking to daily.
Timeline COVID 19 I had my privilege to drive suspended which prohibited me from gaining access to contracts because of my now smeared driving record, meanwhile I have a child on the way and I need to provide. I began working at both UPS and Dollar Tree both locations a bike away which I did.
This new combination of being a father and losing my confident and very attractive income spiraled me into bottles EVERY SINGLE DAY to the point where I celebrated a single day that passed with an empty cup. These actions led to an increase in blackouts from every 4-6 months to every month maybe twice a month. because I was able to take breaks of not drinking for a disciplined amount of time I didn't realize how bad my problem was until very very recently hense the bold title and lengthy body of words. I've lost many wallets plenty phones, great artistic works, investment equipment, data, not to mention personal harm and ruined relationships. I am looking to do better and feel like I may need to walk away from this contagious familiarity for good one sip always ends up being a full bottle than Imma need another one tomorrow so I would like to remove it from my life. I thank you for taking every second to receive these thoughts on artificial paper. I pray all grows greatly for you and all you know

P.s if you love me don't let me drink.